WHAT DO JORDAN AND ELIZABETH I HAVE IN COMMON?

Loads of slap for social/ economical gain that’s what.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a night owl and I love working and watching movies when the rest of the world sleeps. The other night I watched the brilliant Cate Blanchett in ‘Elizabeth’, directed by Shekhar Kapur, if you haven’t seen it do watch it- it’s sexy sumptuous history at it’s best. Anyway, I chased watching ‘Elizabeth’ with an episode of ‘What Katie did Next’ and realised the remarkable similarities with the two women.

Now I know everyone hates Katie Price AKA Jordan at the moment but in terms of modern day media role models I would prefer my daughter (I don’t have one but when I do) to want to be more like her than Toni Terry or a girl who sells her story of how she was roasted by some footballers to News of the World. She’s a grafter, I love hard workers, she’s a businesswoman and works for her own money (right on sister), she’s a mother but still flogs her sexuality (who says your bangers have to be put away after you give birth?) and Peter Andre left her- has everyone forgotten that? Is she pushy, domineering and a bit needy? Yes. Give her a number of a good therapist I say, she is suffering from classic abandoned dad syndrome. I know lots of people who have had the best home life and education, who haven’t achieved 1/4 of what she has. RESPECT.

There is a joke, which I find really interesting and telling about human nature it goes like this- “what do women and men have in common? They both hate women”. This can be very true and whether you are a queen in the 16^th century or Jordan in the 21^st century, a powerful woman will always get haters and these two women seem to have dealt with their public image in the same way. They have both created larger than life caricatures of themselves, which both dazzles the public and protects their own real fragile personalities. In ‘Elizabeth’, there is an interesting scene at the end where she decides to desex herself and cast off her sexuality as a woman and become a living icon to replace the Virgin Mary in the hearts of her subjects. She cuts off her hair and has her signature porcelain foundation applied to her face and hands to make her look like a statue. The effect is to look unworldly, as people love to admire and adore things, which are not of the norm. Cut to Jordan, instead of desexing herself she has done the opposite thing of selling sex but in exacting the same way. Big hair check, crazy cartoon eyebrows and make up check, clothes most people wouldn’t dream of wearing check. In her own way Jordan has also created a caricature of herself, this iconic cartoon image. If you watch her playing with her kids in her tracksuit bottoms and scruffy ponytail, you do realise Katie Price and Jordan are two very different people and you will never ever really know who Katie Price is even with all the interviews, books and tell alls (it’s a weird game she plays of Jordan pretending to be Katie Price pretending to be Jordan).

The use of hair and make up to weave a magic spell to cast over their subjects and fans is not a new game but a very interesting game. Elizabeth I can be considered one of Britain’s most successful monarchs reigning for over 40 years and making Britain one of the most powerful nations on earth while Jordan has created her own empire and still manages to fascinate the public even with the negative press, she has not gone away. So ladies the next time you see a tube of lipstick, foundation and blusher have respect that in certain hands these are some of the most powerful social/ political/economic tools a woman can wield!